Love

    I don't write cheesy, mushy posts, but I can write rationally about topics that are sometimes perceived to be one of those. For example, Love. From when we were in the cozy mother's womb to where we are today, we have been entwined in love in one form or the other. In different ways, in different intensities, with different people, different levels, and even things. Depending on the situation, we may have been the giver or the receiver, or both. 

    Our mother, who started loving us even before she knew if we would make it alive, our biggest provider even after we were born; our father, who could plan to make every step of our initial life meaningful and comfortable; our parents who'd stay awake with us on nights when we are sick, who provided us opportunities they were denied, they want us to be the best, can add more examples of parents' love. 

    The bond between siblings is unique, and does not go by any definition of love. However annoying, critical we can be, or rivalry we can exhibit, that bond stays in its own track.

    While growing up, the other closest relationship is grandparents, who do as much within their boundary as parents. The memories and affection stays forever. And so are very close cousins, uncles and aunts. 

    When we have our own children, we exchange roles and give more. Above are all relations by blood, aka Sondham. They continue from cradle to grave. Love in this domain is very natural, we grew up and drank from this ecosystem.

    There is the other relationship we start forming as soon as we start interacting, Bandham. Our early day friendships starts when we share a toy, giggle for something funny, share a candy, etc. Some continue, some stop as we change class, school, bench, etc. As we grow, our interests start shaping, and we find friends who share common interests/tastes/situations/workplace or living spaces. Some friendships last for life, we all have at least one such special friend. Those that we don't have to meet or talk to for years together, but can continue from where we left off , in a jiffy. We know each other like the palm of one's hand. (It used to be so, till social media and WhatsApp became a thing). Some don't. Some relationships are not meant to be, and some can be transitional. We get to choose our such relationships(Bandham), but we come in with a finite set of blood relation (Sondham). 

    Growing up, as young adults, given that our minds, hormones, and brain is still developing, we meet people. We may like some, not as much others. Consider the opposite sex, we may instinctively develop  fondness and affection over someone for no reason, youth phase might leave butterflies in one's stomach, and it can become hard to decipher the relationship since, depending on one's society, fondness towards the opposite sex might only mean one thing at that age, lust and chemistry. Admitting something called love might not reveal it's true nature, since one may be too young to understand its meaning and its various manifestation. Folks can just walk away from the concept of love even before it's recognized. Why? Because its scary, there is no sounding board to bounce off ideas, or it could only mean marriage or not. No space for simple manifestation. There is restriction, right there.  

   We meet someone, share commonalities and chemistry, develop a bond in the most unsuspected of circumstances, that we want to share for the rest of our life. They might become our spouse, partner. No one teaches the art of loving, but, it just manifests in different forms, amidst life's many pain points. 

    Im not spending time on writing about things, hobbies, celebrities we love. Yes, we are very passionate about them (I love KamalHassan; I love painting; I love walking and being one with nature; I love new experiences, blah, blah!) 

    I realize that as we grow older, we also become free from our own restrictions, reservations, and judgements. The norms we grew up with aren't norms anymore, or, we have altered them. We have built our own value system, having juggled through mixed experiences and learnings. What more, we show love more naturally without any restrictions. Love manifests in different ways, with different relationships, some old, some new, some a continuation from where we left off in the past. Its more free flowing, and doesn't have too much (or nothing) to do with chemistry. 

    Love is when you set food on your table for the family, no matter how hard your day was. Love is when you keep a snack up your sleeve for your son, because, he traces your maternal instinct and thinks of you whenever he is hungry :). Love is when you yell at your daughter for her to clean up after herself. Love is when you massage your spouse's shoulders in passing. Love is when you check on your parent or sibling or relative or friend who's recovering or handling something stressful.  Love is to say "Drive Safe". Love is to annoy your friend overly over a song (theirs or yours), when you really want them to shine, or you want a hug.  Love doesn't need proximity, in fact it doesn't need any attachment. Just let it be.